Priority of Marriage

¹ Then Jesus left Capernaum and went down to the region of Judea and into the area east of the Jordan River. Once again crowds gathered around Him (Jesus), and as usual He was teaching them. ² Some Pharisees came and tried to trap Him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?” ³ Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the Law about divorce?” ⁴ “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.” ⁵ But, Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. ⁶ But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ⁷ ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, ⁸ and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, ⁹ let no one split apart what God has joined together.” Mark 10:1-9 (NLT)

As Jesus was leaving Capernaum, He went southward to the Judean borders on His way to the city of Jerusalem (Mark 10:1; see also Matthew 19:1; Mark 10:32). Once again, large crowds of people gathered around Jesus (Mark 10:1; see also Matthew 19:2). As always, Jesus began to teach the people (Mark 10:1; see also Matthew 4:23; Mark 2:13; Mark 4:2; Mark 6:6, 34). In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus healed the people (see Matthew 19:2).

During His teaching and healing session, some Pharisees came and asked Jesus, “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?” (Mark 10:2, NLT; see also Matthew 19:3). Of course, these Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus (Mark 10:2; see also Matthew 19:3). During Jesus’ time and today, divorce was and continues to be a controversial and important issue. No matter Jesus’ answer, He would offend someone in the crowd, and even offend Roman authorities such as Herod Antipas and Herodias. Herod had already killed John the Baptist for speaking out against divorce and adultery (see Mark 6:17-29). Thus, the Pharisees hoped to trap Jesus too because Jesus was now in Herod Antipas’s territory (Mark 10:2; see also Matthew 19:3).

In Jesus’ day, the Jews debated two conflicting views on divorce: the Hillel view and the Shammai view. Both Rabbi Hillel and Rabbi Shammai were famous first-century Jewish scholars. These two conflicting views provided grounds for divorce based upon Deuteronomy 24:1-4 and the controversial statement that a man finds “some uncleanness in her” (Deuteronomy 24:1, NKJV). The followers of Rabbi Hillel maintained a liberal or lax view of Deuteronomy 24:1. The Hillel view permitted a man to divorce his wife for any trivial and flimsy reason, even the burning of his food. However, followers of Rabbi Shammai interpreted Deuteronomy 24:1 conservatively and taught that the critical words “some uncleanness” referred only to sexual immorality, such as adultery. However, both the Hillel and Shammai views never allowed a woman to divorce her husband on any grounds. Nonetheless, Roman women did have the right to divorce.

Moses’ statement “some uncleanness” in Deuteronomy 24:1 did not include adultery. The Law of Moses did not give adultery as grounds for divorce. Under the Old Testament Law, anybody who committed adultery was stoned to death (see Deuteronomy 22:22; Leviticus 20:10; also see John 8:3-11). This left the innocent spouses free to remarry. The Holy Scriptures take seriously the offense of adultery and marital faithfulness before and during marriage (Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18; see also Leviticus 18:20; Leviticus 20:10; Numbers 5:11-31; Matthew 1:19; Romans 13:19; James 2:11). God forbids sexual immorality as well as murder, lying, theft, disobedience to parents, and deception (fraud) (Exodus 20:12-17; Deuteronomy 5:16-21; see also Matthew 19:18-19; Mark 10:18-19; Luke 18:20; Acts 15:20, 29; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Galatians 5:19-21; Colossians 3:5-6; Revelation 21:8; Revelation 22:15). 

Jesus used the Pharisee’s trap as an opportunity to review God’s original pattern for marriage. In His response to the Pharisees, Jesus ignored the two conflicting views on divorce (see also 2 Timothy 2:14-19). Instead of debating this controversial issue, Jesus asked the Pharisees if they had read the Holy Scriptures (Matthew 19:4). God’s Word is eternally powerful, corrects us when we are wrong, and teaches us to do what is right (see 2 Timothy 3:16; Hebrews 4:12; 1 Peter 1:23). Thus, Jesus focused His attention on God’s Word to resolve the controversy.

In Mark’s Gospel, Jesus first took the Pharisees to the Law of Moses (Mark 10:3; see also Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Jesus said, “What did Moses say in the Law about divorce?” (Mark 10:3, NLT). The Pharisees responded that Moses permitted divorce and said, “A man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away” (Mark 10:4, NLT; see also Deuteronomy 24:1). Jesus told the Pharisees Moses only allowed divorce as an allowance to the hardhearted wickedness, selfishness, and sinfulness between a man and woman (Mark 10:5). Selfishness always threatens to destroy marriage (see Ephesians 5:21).

However, in Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus took the Pharisees first to the creation story of Genesis before human sin to show God’s original plan for marriage (Matthew 19:4). God created marriage as an intimate and unifying blessing, bonding man and woman in His creation (Genesis 1:27; Genesis 2:21-25; Genesis 5:2). Jesus said that divorce was never God’s original intention (Mark 10:6). From the beginning, Jesus said God made man and woman to be joined together permanently in marriage (Mark 10:6; see also Genesis 1:27; Genesis 5:2). Then Jesus said in Matthew and Mark’s Gospels, “Therefore a man is to leave his father and mother, and he and his wife are united so that they are no longer two, but one. . . . And no man may separate what God has joined together” (Mark 10:7-9, TLB; see also Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5-6; 1 Corinthians 6:16; Ephesians 5:31).

In Matthew and Mark’s Gospels, Jesus taught God’s original intention for marriage. Marriage means a covenant commitment between a man and woman based upon oneness, faithfulness, mutual respect, and monogamy (Matthew 19:5-6; Mark 10:7-9; see also Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:21, 31; Hebrews 13:4; Revelation 22:15). The marriage relationship is sacred, intimate, and permanent, for the two become one flesh (Mark 10:8; see also Matthew 19:6). God's original design knows nothing of “trial marriages.” Moreover, marriage must be kept holy as marriage is an illustration of the loving, intimate union, and oneness between Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:22-33; see also John 17:20-21). Marriage is a covenant before God and governed by the Word of God (see Malachi 2:14-15; Ephesians 5:30-31). God intends married couples to remain faithful to each other (Mark 10:7). With God’s help, Jesus wanted man and woman to stay together through the holy bonds of matrimony and maintain their physical and spiritual unity (Mark 10:7-9). God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Even more, the marriage unit sanctifies and produces godly children (Malachi 2:15; 1 Corinthians 7:14).

¹⁰ Later, when He was alone with His disciples in the house, they (disciples) brought up the subject again. ¹¹ He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. ¹² And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.” Mark 10:10-12 (NLT)

When Jesus was alone with His disciples, the disciples brought up the subject again on divorce (Mark 10:10). Jesus told His disciples, “When a man divorces his wife to marry someone else, he commits adultery against her” (Mark 10:11, TLB; see also Luke 16:18). Furthermore, Jesus said, “If a wife divorces her husband and remarries, she, too, commits adultery” (Mark 10:12, TLB; see also Romans 7:3; 1 Corinthians 7:10-11). Thus in Mark’s Gospels, Jesus eliminated both Jewish conflicting views on divorce (Mark 10:10-12). Jesus affirmed God’s original intention for a permanent marriage (Genesis 2:24; see also Luke 16:18; 1 Corinthians 7:10-11). Note that Jesus included equally included both men and the women in His warning. However, in Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus said marital unfaithfulness (e.g., adultery or fornication) breaks the marriage bond and is an allowable ground for divorce (see Matthew 5:32; Matthew 19:9). Mark and Luke’s Gospels do not include the “exception clause” found in Matthew’s Gospel for sexual immorality (Mark 10:11; Luke 16:18; see also 1 Corinthians 7:10-11). God’s priests were not allowed to marry divorced women (see Leviticus 21:13-15; 1 Timothy 3:1-13; Titus 1:5-9).

Jesus:  ³¹ “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ ³² But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32 (NLT)

Yet, God graciously deals with divorce as with all our sins – through His mercy, grace, and forgiveness (e.g., see Luke 23:34; Luke 23:39-43; John 8:3-11). Jesus did not label divorce as an unforgivable sin that that cannot be forgiven through our genuine confession and repentance (see 1 John 1:9). Yet, divorce is the failure to live up to God’s original intention. God originally designed the marriage commitment to be permanent and unbroken (Genesis 2:24; see also Ephesians 5:31). All three Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark, and Luke) agree that Jesus viewed divorce as sinful. However, God gave people divorce as a concession to human sinfulness and wickedness (Mark 10:4-5; see also Deuteronomy 24:1-4; Matthew 5:31; Matthew 19:7-8). Other than sexual unfaithfulness, death also breaks the marriage bond. When one spouse dies, the other mate is free to remarry because the marriage bond has been broken (see Romans 7:1-3; 1 Corinthians 7:8-9; 1 Timothy 5:14). Nevertheless, God wants unity, mercy, and forgiveness among the parties (see Matthew 6:14; Matthew 18:21-22; Luke 17:3-4). Of course, it is always better that the guilty party confess the sin, genuinely repent, and be restored and forgiven. Those who discover that their mate has been unfaithful should first make every effort to mercifully forgive, reconcile, and restore their relationship.

Sadly, these Pharisees were quoting Moses unfairly and out of context. The Holy Scriptures do not record when divorce first began. The Old Testament passages found at Deuteronomy 24:1-4 neither establishes divorce nor prohibits. Instead, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 simply recognizes a practice that already existed in Israel. Thus, these verses are certainly not suggesting that a man divorce his wife on a whim. The ideal was for one man to marry one woman for life (see Genesis 2:24). Moses allowed divorce; Jesus said, because of the hardness of people's hearts (see Matthew 19:8; Mark 10:5). Essentially, divorce was an accommodation to human weakness and sin. Divorce was a permanent and final act for the couple. Once divorced and remarried to others, the parties could never be remarried to each other (Deuteronomy 24:4). This restriction was to prevent casual remarriage after a frivolous separation. Thus, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 do specify two important points: (1) the man divorcing his wife must give her a written statement intended to protect the woman and (2) a divorced woman who remarries cannot return to her first husband if her second husband dies or divorces her.

¹⁰ Jesus’ disciples then said to Him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!” ¹¹ “Not everyone can accept this statement,” Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. ¹² Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” Matthew 19:10-12 (NLT)

In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus’ disciples then said to Him, “If that is how it is, it is better not to marry!” (Matthew 19:10, TLB). Jesus’ teaching seemed very strict to His disciples. Jesus answered, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life” (Matthew 19:11, MSG). Marriage requires a certain aptitude and grace. Thus, marriage is not for everyone (Matthew 19:11). Jesus goes on to say that some people are born without the ability to marry, while some people are disabled by men, and some people refuse to marry for the sake of God’s Kingdom (Matthew 19:12; see also 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, 26, 32-35). Celibacy is an acceptable option (1 Corinthians 7:1, 8). Like the Apostle Paul, some people abstained from sexual relations to devote their full commitment to God’s Kingdom (1 Corinthians 7:1, 7-9, 26, 32-35; see also Acts 21:8-9). Jesus honors celibacy as a valid life choice just as He honored marriage.

¹³ Yet you cover the altar with your tears because the Lord does not pay attention to your offerings anymore, and you receive no blessing from Him. ¹⁴ “Why has God abandoned us?" you cry. I will tell you why; it is because the Lord has seen your treachery in divorcing your wives who have been faithful to you through the years, the companions you promised to care for and keep. ¹⁵ You were united to your wife by the Lord. In God’s wise plan, when you married, the two of you became one person in His sight. And what does He want? Godly children from your union. Therefore, guard your passions! Keep faith with the wife of your youth. ¹⁶ For the Lord, the God of Israel, says He hates divorce and cruel men. Therefore, control your passions—let there be no divorcing of your wives. Malachi 2:13-16 (TLB)

References

Life Application Study Bible (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Pub., 2005).

Life Essentials Study Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2011).

Ryrie Study Bible (Chicago, IL: Moody, 1995).

The Apologetics Study Bible: Understanding Why You Believe (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2012).

Zondervan NIV Study Bible (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2008).

Loyd, Melton, Ph.D., Professor of New Testament. Due West Campus: Erskine Theological Seminary, 2015.

Wiersbe, Warren W. Bible Exposition Commentary – New Testament (Victor Books, 1989).