4 True
humility and fear of the LORD lead to riches, honor, and long life. 5
Corrupt people walk a thorny, treacherous road; whoever values life will avoid
it. 6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are
older, they will not leave it. . . . 15 A youngster’s heart is
filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away. Proverbs 22:4-6, 15 (NLT)
Fatherhood is a common feature of the
First and Second Samuel. With the exception of Elkanah (Samuel’s father) (1
Samuel 1:1, 3, 19-20), the Old Testament books of Samuel never depicts fathers
positively.[1]
The children of the great leaders in First and Second Samuel turn out to be either
scoundrels or worthless men. Jonathan is the single exceptions; in his case,
the father, Saul, turns out to be the one who is depraved and utterly corrupt.[2]
First Samuel opens with the faithful
worship of Samuel’s father and mother, Elkanah and Hannah (1 Samuel 1 and 2).
Despite the decline of worship in Israel, Samuel’s parents persistently and
faithfully lived righteously and worshiped God from their heart (1 Samuel 1:13,
15, 19).[3] Samuel
of the Old Testament was one of Israel’s greatest prophets and judges (1 Samuel
3:1, 19-21; 1 Samuel 7:6, 15; see also Acts 13:20; Hebrews 11:32-33). From a
young age, the LORD God was with Samuel, and he grew in wisdom and stature, and
in favor with God and men (1 Samuel 2:21, 26; see also Luke 2:52). His mother
Hannah dedicated Samuel as a young child to God’s service and brought young
Samuel to the Tabernacle at Shiloh to be trained by Israel’s high priest, Eli (1
Samuel 1:11, 26-28, 1 Samuel 2:11; 1 Samuel 3:1). While still a boy, Samuel
heard God speak (1 Samuel 3:1, 10).
As Israel’s priest and judge, Eli was a
faithful man of God but he did not properly train his two sons, Hophni and
Phinehas (see 1 Samuel 1:3; 1 Samuel 2:12-29; 1 Samuel 3:13; 1 Samuel 4:18). Hophni
and Phinehas were wicked men and did continual evil in God’s sight (1 Samuel
2:17, 25). While at Shiloh, Samuel witnessed Eli’s failures as a parent with
his wickded sons, Hophni and Phinehas (1 Samuel 2:12-36). God held Eli
responsible for his sons’ disgraceful behavior at the Tabernacle.[4] Eli
rebuked Hophni and Phinehas, but he “failed to restrain them” (1 Samuel 2:23-25,
3:13). Eventually, God appointed Samuel to lead Israel after Eli, Hophni and
Phinehas’s death (1 Samuel 4:10-11, 12-18; see also 1 Samuel 3:19-21). Samuel faithfully
led Israel (1 Samuel 7:15-17) and sought the LORD God’s guidance in prayer as Israel’s
leader (1 Samuel 8:6). Under Samuel’s faithful leadership, the land of Israel enjoyed
peace from its enemies (1 Samuel 7:13-14).
As Samuel grew old, he retired and
appointed his oldest sons, Joel and Abijah, as judges over Israel (1 Samuel
8:1-2). Joel and Abijah held court in Beersheba, but they were not like their faithful
father, Samuel (1 Samuel 8:2-3). Similar to Hophni and Phinehas (1 Samuel 2:12-13),
these two brothers were greedy and worthless men and not did not faithfully
follow the ways of the LORD God (1 Samuel 8:3, 5; see also Philippians 3:17-19). Joel and Abijah accepted bribes from
people and perverted justice (1 Samuel 8:3; see also Exodus 23:2).
Finally, the leaders of Israel met in
Ramah to discuss the matter with Samuel (1 Samuel 8:4). The leaders informed
Samuel that since his retirement matters in Israel had not been the same, for
his sons, Joel and Abijah, were not good men and leaders like him (1 Samuel 8:4-5).
Joel and Abijah’s failures led Israel’s leaders to ask and plead with Samuel
for a king like all the other nations (see 1 Samuel 8:5, 19-20). Like Eli,
Samuel failed to train Joel and Abijah in the ways of God.
The Holy Scriptures gives readers
little insight into Eli and Samuel’s home life, but the disobedience and
wickedness of their sons are evident in the pages of Scripture.[5] Many tasks
are valuable and important, but nothing is more than important teaching our
families to faithfully love, honor, and obey God (see Matthew 22:34-40). Godly
parenthood means devoting prime time to loving and training children to
wholeheartedly love God and faithfully follow God’s righteous ways (Deuteronomy
6:4-7; see also Proverbs 22:6; Matthew 6:33; Ephesians 6:4). As parents, we
have a responsibility to train and lead our children how to live right before
God, and to grow and mature spiritually, morally, and ethically (Proverbs 22:6;
see also Deuteronomy 4:6; Deuteronomy 30:19-20; Deuteronomy 32:46-47; 2 Timothy
3:15-16). Foolishness is tangled up in children’s hearts and parent’ godly
discipline and punishment drive foolhardiness away from their children (Proverbs
22:15; see also Proverbs 1:7; Proverbs 13:24, Proverbs 23:13-14, Proverbs 29:15).
Honoring God means teaching our children to love and obey God (1 Samuel
2:29-30).
As Christians and particularly church
leaders, parents have an obligation to bring their children up with the loving
discipline the LORD God approves (Ephesians 6:4; see also Genesis 18:19;
Colossians 3:21). We are not to continual rebuke and nag our children as such
actions can make children angry, discouraged, and resentful (Ephesians 6:4). If
parents are always blaming and never praising, children will lose heart
(Colossians 3:21). Rather than nagging and arbitrarily asserting our authority,
the Holy Scriptures instruct parents prayerfully and consistently to train and discipline
our children but with love (see Proverbs 1:8-9). Training our children means a
combination of instruction, encouragement, discipline, and personal guidance
according to the LORD God’s ways and NOT the ways of the world (see 2 Timothy
3:15-17).[6] The overwhelming
emphasis of the Old Testament book of Proverbs is on verbal encouragement and
teaching of children.[7] The entire
book of Proverbs is framed as a father and mother’s instructions to his son,
teaching him the “facts of life” according to God’s righteous ways (e.g., see Proverbs
1:8-11; Proverbs 31:1-3).[8] Undisciplined
and untrained children are often rebels.
“The
rod of discipline” stands for all forms of discipline or training (Proverbs
22:15; see also Proverbs 19:18; Proverbs 23:13-14).[9] Just as
God trains and corrects us to make us better, so Christian parents must
discipline their children to walk the right path and learn the difference
between right and wrong (see Proverbs 3:11-12; see also Hebrews 12:5-11;
Revelation 3:19). Yet, parents are NEVER to use their authority to abuse the
child, but to fairly encourage and lead their children in the ways of God
and this training also includes not showing favoritism within the home. Christians
must assure they are disciplining their children in love and NOT IN ANGER, for
fear that we injure either the body or the spirit of the child, or possibly both![10] “Flying
off the handle” never made either a better child or a better parent.[11]
To help with training our children, Christian
parents need to seek God’s guidance in prayer so they can be sensitive to the
needs and problems of their children.[12] It is
not enough to nurture our children physically by providing food, shelter, and
clothing.[13]
We must also nurture and train our children emotionally and spiritually to
choose the God’s righteous and just ways (see Genesis 18:19; Micah 6:6-8).[14] God
looks to the parents for the kind of training that the children need (see Proverbs
13:24).[15] Parents
are responsible for providing religious and moral instruction for their sons
and daughters.[16]
One of the most important things
parents can do is spend time with their children and listen to them.[17] As the
great theologian Warren Wiersbe said, “A listening ear and a loving heart
always go together.” Life is not easy for children, especially Christian
children. Christian parents must listen carefully, sharing the feelings and
frustrations of their children, praying with them, and seeking to encourage
them. Moreover, Christian parents must help their children develop their
personalities, their gifts, and their skills. Every child has special gifts and
talents from God. Parents are to discern and understand the unique way God has
created their children – children’s individuality and inclinations – and nurture
them accordingly.[18] Moreover,
our home must be a place of encouragement and warmth for children.[19] Discouraged
children are fair prey for Satan and the world.[20] When
parents neglect these important tasks, God is forgotten, values become corrupt,
and society as a whole suffers decline (see Deuteronomy 6:1-10).[21] If a
home is truly Christian, it is a place of encouragement, openness, and love but
also a refuge to find strength to fight the battles and carry the burdens of
growing maturity (e.g., see 1 Thessalonians 2:7, 10-12). A child should find a
loving heart, a watching eye, a listening ear, and a helping hand at home.[22] Children
who grow up in a godly environment where God's truths are modeled and where
they are encouraged to live according to God's ways will likely end up
embracing those values and living by them into adulthood.[23]
Critics often point to verses like Proverbs
13:24 as examples of cruelty and abuse of children (see also Proverbs 19:18;
Proverbs 22:15; Proverbs 23:13-14; Proverbs 29:15, 17). However, critics must understand
these verses in the broader context of Proverb’s teaching about discipline.[24] The goal
of discipline is instruction, encouragement, and loving guidance, as well as physical
or corporal punishment to change a child’s attitude or behavior to follow the
ways of God (Proverbs 3:3-7). Godly parental discipline should always be
corrective in nature, never vindictive and abusive.[25] The
book of Proverbs also recognizes that children do not, by nature, gravitate
toward God’s wisdom and order, and that left to themselves children will move toward
folly and self-destruction (Proverbs 22:15). It is not easy for a loving parent
to discipline a child, but it is necessary to nurture and guide our children
(Proverbs 13:24; see also Proverbs 23:13).[26]
References
Disciple's Study Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible, 1988).
Life Application Study Bible (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Pub.,
2005).
Life Essentials Study Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers,
2011).
Faithlife Study Bible
(Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2012).
KJV Bible Commentary
(Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1994).
The New
Student Bible
(Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1992).
The
Apologetics Study Bible: Understanding Why You Believe (Nashville,
TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2012).
The Holy Bible
NIV 2011 (Grand
Rapids, MI: Biblica, 2011).
Wiersbe, Warren W. Bible Exposition Commentary – Old Testament and New Testament (Victor Books, 1989).
Zondervan NIV
Study Bible
(Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2008).
[1]
Faithlife Study Bible
[2]
Faithlife Study Bible
[3]
KJV Bible Commentary
[4]
The New Student Bible
[5]
Disciple's Study Bible
[6]
Disciple's Study Bible
[7]
The New Student Bible
[8]
The New Student Bible
[9]
Life Application Study Bible
[10]
Bible Exposition Commentary - New Testament
[11]
Bible Exposition Commentary - New Testament
[12]
Bible Exposition Commentary - New Testament
[13]
Disciple's Study Bible
[14]
Life Application Study Bible
[15]
Bible Exposition Commentary - New Testament
[16]
Disciple's Study Bible
[17]
Bible Exposition Commentary - New Testament
[18]
Life Essentials Study Bible
[19]
Bible Exposition Commentary - New Testament
[20]
Bible Exposition Commentary - New Testament
[21]
Disciple's Study Bible
[22]
Bible Exposition Commentary - New Testament
[23]
The Apologetics Study Bible: Understanding Why You Believe
[24]
The Apologetics Study Bible: Understanding Why You Believe
[25]
Disciple's Study Bible
[26]
Life Application Study Bible
